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Monday, September 30, 2013

More Like Him: September

Something I learned to do better was, not always saying what I was thinking with my son and his living arrangements in Minnesota.  Sometimes, he just needs to take his own lumps.  Sometimes, I just need to be there to listen and not solve all his problems.  I fear I have enabled the child a bit, but isn't that what mothers do?  They protect and guide and fix all the problems to help the child learn how to live.  I fear I do not always let him figure it out.  I have been over protective because of his learning disabilities.  I over compenstate for his weaknesses.  Instead of allowing his weaknesses become strenghts.

I have learned to watch, listen and support.  Isn't that what the Savior and Heavenly Father do?  They watch us make mistakes, listen for us to ask for help, then give us support as they see fit.  It is hard for me not to just protect his feelings; defend his weaknesses; and ask for acceptance on who he is and know that is just how it is going to be.  (I have done this for a long time.)  Dakota is an adult now (by years, not be experience), how is he going to grow as an adult if he is not put through the rigor of life?

I learned to be a quiet observer, a listener, and offered a lot of encouragement.  It hurts when your child hurts no matter how old.  But, I also know that without trials he will not become a diamond some day.  In the end when I meet my maker I want to be polished and be able to say I did my best and when I did not, I repented.  Why would I want to take that away from my son? 

So in the end, my son, I want you to be polished and learn to lean on the Savior as needed and become more like Him in your own rite.

September, I learned to support through love and not be fixing.  I also learned I will have this lesson again, as I do not always bite my tongue.  But, one thing I do know is that I will be polished often as I grow.


  1. So true. That is what mothers do. No matter how old, no matter how much experience, no matter what they can or can't do, you want the very best for them. I know I do. And I find myself still wanting to teach and train them more than just sitting back praying and hoping. Dakota will do just fine. Didnt we all have hard knocks along the way when we were their age? I know I did.

  2. It is very frustrating to just watch while your kids learn. It's hard for me now with little things; I can't quite imagine it with big things. You are an awesome mama!

  3. It's hard to back away...I need to learn that myself! You and Kota are doing fine and I know all will work out in the end! Make sure you keep these posts so you can look back in a few years and say "Hey, it did work out OK!"

  4. It's quite an evolution to evolve to parenting adults. I am still in that process!