Welcome to the mayhem

Hope you enjoy your visit!

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

More Like Him: February Update

In this month I got to do some service.  Little acts of service, some on a whim, but the impact was how much the little things matter.

I sent out cards to people on my visiting teaching list with cut-out hearts in them.  With something quirky about the hearts falling out of the card will be the best heart attack they'll ever have.  My mom found that hilarious and called to tell me about it.

I just got told again yesterday how the heart attacks on the doors at school are still making people smile.  I had the opportunity to take a meal into a woman who was on bed rest.  Just being able to teach the youth and make and prepare things for them.

I did the taxes for our family and got Dakota's FAFSA paperwork done.  I took some of workload of a woman at work that needed help.

As I sat down to make a post tonight I was thinking how my evening at home went with irritating my children.  Kyle has been waiting for me after work to do tutoring.  Four nights a week, I have been working with students and getting home later than normal.  Why does 1 more hour make you really tired?  Anyhow, I came home and couldn't find a place on the carpet by the door to take off my wet, muddy shoes because the kids (and I) had too many shoes there.  Then I walk past 2 baskets of laundry that needed folding to get to the kitchen with a sink full of dirty dishes, only to have to make dinner before everyone went to church tonight.  As I'm finding the two things I asked Kayla to do to help me get a jump start on dinner were only half done correctly.

 I snapped.  So within 15 minutes of being home, I have two angry and crying teens wondering what is up with their crazy mother.  Moping around the house to do more chores than what they thought they needed to.  We need to find a balance.  They feel they do more chores than Kyle and I do.  But, factoring in grocery shopping, meal preparation and clean-up, laundry, bill paying, you get the drift.  Do they sweep more floors than I do, yes.  Do they do more work than I do, no.  Oh, then I have to apologize for being frustrated and such is life in a day at the Crawford house.  Where is this story leading.  It seems that it is easiest to do service and be More Like Him outside of the home.  Maybe in March I need to focus inside the home.  I am so thankful that Christ makes up the difference in my mistakes.  I do know that I do more good than harm....and that half the battle won right there.

Friday, February 22, 2013

Snipped and Tucked

Remember this?  We bought this dress at the end of last season.  We found this dress regular $180 for $30.  Woo-hoo!  It just needed to be shorter and a bit more modest.
 Thank goodness we have friends who can do the work.  I never did master formal wear.  Heck, I can only do squares! 
What happens when you are 5 foot 2?  You have 8 inches of dress that you can use for sleeves.
(Thanks Gayle for all your hard work.)
Don't flinch Kayla, you might get poked.

 Can't wait to see the little princess all ready to go on prom night.  She's already got a date lined up from a boy she met at a Stake activity.  We couldn't wipe the smile off her face if we would have wanted to.  Now we just need to find some jewelry.


Monday, February 18, 2013

Winds of Change

There are points in life where things just can't get any better than this.  Where life is great.  Where you realize you were lucky to be there.  You have any of those moments?  I got called to teach the youth Sunday School class on Sundays. I am SO EXCITED to do this.  I have been wanting to work with the youth for a long time.  If I could have picked my calling this would have been it.

 I have 16 bright-eyed and amazing students. (after week 1 of teaching).  I have been really tuned-into to them as a finished up my calling in Primary and have listened to my daughter and son in to the struggles and desires of the kids.
 Then one of my good friends in the ward forwards me an email with many apologies for the forward.  It was an answer to my prayers.  It was an answer to my own heart's needs, it was a great way to start with these precious souls left in my stewardship. 
You know when you are doing something really great and feeling good about yourself, then the self critic shows up.  Like you read the scriptures today, but when done you remember that you had to dust them off first.  Or you had FHE with your family, but then remember it was the first one in a while (like maybe 6 months).  Well the forward was from a blog I'd never read before and it was about drops of awesome.  This post talked about this very thing that I (like many others) do to myself.  It tells of how we overlook the awesome things we do and don't allow the Savior to make up the difference.   It is amazing how inspiration comes (sometimes through forwards in emails).

We (me and the youth) are going to focus on the good things we are doing.  Even if we just started doing them.  We talked about change and just one step in a different direction (away from wrong, or laziness, or whatever needs changed) will set a new course.  When we are lost, or distressed, or depressed or whatever is keeping us from feeling awesome, we rely on the Savior's healing power of the atonement.

Phew, this has been such an amazingly AWESOME experience for me, the youth were happy to put drops in the jar as I was teaching the lesson.  One was so happy when I added the rest of the water to the jar that he jumped up to help me.

I'm excited for this change in my life.  I feel a perfect brightness of hope in my life.  I see things right now adding drops to my bowl and knowing that my course is changing.  That each act of kindness, charity, is getting me on "drop" closer to being more like Him. 
I can only hope that as the youth collect their drops that they begin to feel how awesome they truly are!

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Valentine's X 3

Today was a tough day at work.  I tried to plow through that and have fun with the students.  We made construction paper hearts and heart attacked other teacher's doors.  Getting 12 year olds to sneak through the building without getting caught is the biggest challenge. (No matter how much modeling of being quiet and nonchalant in the halls, they think crawling around commando-style is best, but actually causes more attention)  This is the first year, that the principal came flying out of her office yelling because someone was banging on her door.  Once we explained what was going on it was funny, but phew that was close.  Crazy kids.  By the end of the day there was a lot of positive feedback.

I left bags of M&Ms for Kota and Kisses for Kayla on their table spot before school.  Then for dinner we made shrimp linguini and steaks.  My steak was just okay, but it just kind of matched the way I was feeling.

The best  part of today was sitting at my dinner table with everyone laughing and having a good time.  So to my three favorite Valentine's: I love you and thanks for the happy ending!

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Birthday Happenings and other stuff

Sushi, more correctly stated; maki rolls, is the love of my family.  Any reason to go to The Lotus in Ashland on 1/2 price sushi night makes them happy.  Kyle got a late celebration tonight at the Lotus.

Over the weekend I made him is traditional meatloaf dinner with real mashed potatoes and asparagus.  He opted for a key lime pie in lieu of cake.  So we've been celebrating a few different times.  I suppose that makes up for not having time on the actual birthday.

On the other stuff note, I am in the winter blah state here, so much gray gets the spirits down.  To overcome those lows I have been trying to find the Light of Christ in my life.  You know really looking into the nether regions of life sometimes to find it.  You know when you're looking for it it seems so easy to see. (why does it take so long to remember this simple thing)

I found Him hiding in my marriage.  I sure do love Kyle and when I look at my marriage is sure is a beautiful thing.  I found Him in my work place.  When I get to have fun with the students and really listen to what they are learning.  I found Him in my home, when I listen to the promptings of prayer, FHE, and the beginnings of preparing Sunday lessons.  When I am seeking, I am finding and boy it feels good!

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Happy Birthday Babe

Today was Kyle's birthday.  It was such crazy day at work and packed with meetings that I didn't even get to talk to him until supper.  We met at KFC because that is what he wanted.  Ate dinner, parted ways with the kids and went home.

Yep, nothing exciting happens when you turn 41.  We hope to have a better celebration this weekend if he'll let us.  I need to make his favorite meal: meatloaf.

So what do you get a 41 year old for his birthday?  He wants to go to a conceal and carry class.  So that is what he'll be doing soon.  I'm not so much interested in that, he asked if I want to go too.  Naw, why would I want to be packin' heat in my purse?  That to me to me would be too scary.  I don't mind standing behind Kyle though.  (big chicken, go ahead make fun of me)

Saturday, February 2, 2013

More Like Him January Update

I really want to stick to this resolution.  So I thought if I gave myself some honest feedback I can only do better.  Right?  (click on the picture on the sidebar if you missed the resolution.)

Let's start with the positive:
Helped a local food bank get $1000 worth of food through our Church's RS program.
Helped my daughter get caught up on her personal progress.  (she might be done after tonight)
Did bus duty for a colleague at work.
Helped a colleague at work learn how to use a new computer program.
Various work at church within my primary calling, Cub Scout calling, and Boy Scout Calling.
Worked with Kota to get college scholarships.
Made dinner for Mom when she had pneumonia.

Things I could have handled better:
My lack of patience when I don't have control of my life.

These things were out of my control all building and feeding each other during the month:
The Primary President moved out of the Ward.  I am the 1st counselor that acts in her absence.  I have not been vary patient with the Bishopric as they are trying to figure out what to do with Primary.  A lot of changes were made at the beginning of the year, necessary changes like splitting Junior and Senior Primary which was very needed.  There is a lot of sickness in our area and teachers were sick a lot and I was trying to run double sharing times for the first time often as the only member of the presidency there and trying to find subs weekly.  I felt alone and honestly overwhelmed and really didn't know who to talk to.  In the mean time, Kota is going through a very trying time due to choices made, with dreary consequences.  I've been worried about his self-esteem.  My step-dad was having prostate cancer surgery and preparations for that so I was a sounding board for my mom.  Trying to balance work with several training days out and writing and catching up from sub plans.  I bubbled over several times.

I have been impatient not knowing if and when a new Primary Presidency would be called and if I would be part of the change.  If so, I needed to get the changes organized.  I got frustrated and wasn't always nice to the Bishopric would did not have answers to my questions.  If I was acting more like Him, my reactions would have been much more loving.

I think the Primary problem was the only one I felt like I should have control over because I can't chose for my son, I can't change training  dates at work, and certainly can't cure cancer, so the only place that I could focus my frustration to ALL of this were at people who were just a minor part of my irritation, but got the full brunt of my months burdens.

SO, what do I do?  Feel guilty for being human.  Yep!  That will fix it.  After a week of that, I know that I have done a lot of good during all this chaos.  Next, time I will have to take a step back and look at things differently.  But if not, I'll have another chaotic opportunity to try to do a little bit better.

Thank goodness the Savior doesn't expect me to get this right the first time.  I will need many more chances on this I fear.  This is one of my life trials. 

All in all I did okay.  Line upon, line, precept upon precept, here a little, there a little.  Yep, I can do this.

Perfectly patient I am not, but getting better, I guess so, at least I know what the problem is.