Saturday, February 2, 2013
More Like Him January Update
Let's start with the positive:
Helped a local food bank get $1000 worth of food through our Church's RS program.
Helped my daughter get caught up on her personal progress. (she might be done after tonight)
Did bus duty for a colleague at work.
Helped a colleague at work learn how to use a new computer program.
Various work at church within my primary calling, Cub Scout calling, and Boy Scout Calling.
Worked with Kota to get college scholarships.
Made dinner for Mom when she had pneumonia.
Things I could have handled better:
My lack of patience when I don't have control of my life.
These things were out of my control all building and feeding each other during the month:
The Primary President moved out of the Ward. I am the 1st counselor that acts in her absence. I have not been vary patient with the Bishopric as they are trying to figure out what to do with Primary. A lot of changes were made at the beginning of the year, necessary changes like splitting Junior and Senior Primary which was very needed. There is a lot of sickness in our area and teachers were sick a lot and I was trying to run double sharing times for the first time often as the only member of the presidency there and trying to find subs weekly. I felt alone and honestly overwhelmed and really didn't know who to talk to. In the mean time, Kota is going through a very trying time due to choices made, with dreary consequences. I've been worried about his self-esteem. My step-dad was having prostate cancer surgery and preparations for that so I was a sounding board for my mom. Trying to balance work with several training days out and writing and catching up from sub plans. I bubbled over several times.
I have been impatient not knowing if and when a new Primary Presidency would be called and if I would be part of the change. If so, I needed to get the changes organized. I got frustrated and wasn't always nice to the Bishopric would did not have answers to my questions. If I was acting more like Him, my reactions would have been much more loving.
I think the Primary problem was the only one I felt like I should have control over because I can't chose for my son, I can't change training dates at work, and certainly can't cure cancer, so the only place that I could focus my frustration to ALL of this were at people who were just a minor part of my irritation, but got the full brunt of my months burdens.
SO, what do I do? Feel guilty for being human. Yep! That will fix it. After a week of that, I know that I have done a lot of good during all this chaos. Next, time I will have to take a step back and look at things differently. But if not, I'll have another chaotic opportunity to try to do a little bit better.
Thank goodness the Savior doesn't expect me to get this right the first time. I will need many more chances on this I fear. This is one of my life trials.
All in all I did okay. Line upon, line, precept upon precept, here a little, there a little. Yep, I can do this.
Perfectly patient I am not, but getting better, I guess so, at least I know what the problem is.