My goal has been to work on perfecting myself into a better person. One who is not quick to anger and is able to listen and act accordingly. One who is patient and kind. I can be this person sometimes, more often than not at work, but at home it is all different. It seems that I need to get results, bills paid, money saved and some for fun...that isn't happening as smoothly as I would like. Non budgeted bills keep plaguing our house, with it is bringing me stress, which sometimes turns into arguments with children.
Kayla has an August birthday, which makes it hard to get a summer job that she wants. One where you need to be 18. She starts dog training in September. So do you even get a job when you figure in Girls camp, youth conference and family vacation. Mean time mom and dad are covering insurance and gas money, and sometimes going out with friends money. I want her to get a job, she wants to wait until she comes home from school in October.
Patients is what I'm learning painfully hard ways this year. I'm not good at waiting, I want results on something fast. Other things I can wait for well.
Another personal stress is getting an administration position. I have had three interviews and
three no thank yous. It is really hard on a person, numbered with several letters of rejection in the meanwhile. I feel like I'm working really hard and have the school loans to prove it, but no payback on my efforts. It is frustrating to me. My prayers keeps saying to be patient on His will. In the mean time the unbundle tend bills keep rolling in and I keep thinking maybe I need to get another job.
I wish patients was my talent, instead it is my trial and I am becoming more like Him each day that I try to wait on His will. Until then my mantra has to be John 14:27 "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be trouble neither let it be afraid."