17 and Counting

I can't believe my oldest is in his final phase in our home.  I know he'll be in and out in his young adulthood, but is it possible he's I'm that old?

He is holding up the gift he wanted (a cell phone), we hid it inside his shoe (big sz 13).  Grandparents came and had red velvet cake and ice cream. 

 He received new work pants and money.  He was quite happy.  Are you wondering about his duds?

He decided that it would be nice to have hat.  He dug out the vest he's had for a few years and started wearing it this week.  I think he looks like a newsie.  Happy Birthday Kota, may you have many more!

Dakota was born at 4:17 pm in the afternoon, 17 years ago.  He was born in the middle of a blizzard, kind of like the one we had Friday night.  He was my first so, I made the trip to the hospital twice earlier in the month and didn't want to be sent home again, so I was up from Midnight until about 4:30 in the morning having contractions.  I watched Kyle sleep for those hours and wondered when the pains would stop.  They didn't, so I finally woke up Kyle to get me to the hospital.

We drove the 1/2 hour trip in the middle of the storm.  It seemed like the snow plows hadn't been out on our trip to the hospital.  I labored all day. 

Around lunch time they decided to induce my labor because I wasn't making progress and was already past my due date.  When they induced the labor, Dakota's heart rate dropped.  (You know they didn't tell me all this at the time.)  They told me I had to have a C-section (you know I don't remember the reason they said) I was so young, I didn't know the right questions to ask I suppose.   But what we found out later was he was too big for me and when they induced the labor he couldn't go anywhere.

He was stubborn then and is still stubborn now.

As tradition goes in our family Dakota has many nicknames.

Grand pappy calls him Coyote

We call him Moose because he's always been so big

Kayla called him Kota because she couldn't say Dakota (and it stuck)

Dakota Jones

Jones

Bud

Moo (short for moose)

Moose goose

No matter what we call him we love him.  Happy Birthday Son.

Cheerful Service

I have had some wonderful opportunities to give service to my fellow beings this past week.  Timely I might add for the lesson I taught today in Relief Society (women's Sunday School). 

I was asked to take in a meal to a couple of which the husband has been in and out of the hospital with heart trouble.  I know how much it meant to that couple to receive that meal.  They we so gracious and happy.  It was a whole family effort to deliver that meal and gave more opportunity for my husband to take out the Boy Scouts to give them more service later in the week.  A lot of life lessons are taught when service is given.

The second I got to take a woman I visit teach to get her patriarchal blessing today.  This woman whom I love dearly, has a tough struggle.  She lost her husband a year ago.  He died the end of January.  It has been a long road for her.  The grief cycle takes a while to run its course.  She is working on getting her spiritual life in order.  I am so proud of her and enjoyed every minute of our trip to the patriarch's house.  The miles flew by with all the talk of life and lessons we have learned. 

We laughed, shared tears, and gave advice, each in our own turn.  We wallowed in the Spirit and just loved each other.  I learned a thing or two on this trip.  I learned another line...that comforting those in need of comfort is not just a one time opportunity.  The card at the time of death and attendance at the funeral were not all she needed.  She needed me almost every month of this past year.  Not that I even understand her pain, my husband is alive and well.  But just the listening ear and the act of doing things together.  I have learned to let her serve me as much as I like to serve her.  I actually asked her to help me with something.  I asked her to teach me how to make a yule log cake.  We had a great day, and I got her out of her house.

The other thing I learned on this trip was how much Heavenly Father loves each of his children and knows them personally.  I already knew this, but now I know it on another level, a new line has been drawn in my existence on this topic. 

I feel that I finally understand what it means to love people where they are.  That just the act of loving and not teaching or pushing someone to do something correctly (or our version of correctly) is okay.  Just the simple act of loving is sometimes all someone needs.  I hope I remember this lesson and apply it often.  I've learned when we don't do this, often this is the time when we lose people because the feel like no matter what they just can't measure up.  I've felt this before unloved, unwanted, not good enough...

It was very therapeutic for me to have a conversation with the patriarch's wife.  We talked about the season's of motherhood.  How each has a purpose and how each is important.  I'm in the stubborn teen phase, and learning to watch them make mistakes after we have taught correct principals.  Watching them flex their agency and accepting the consequences.  She in the "keep her mouth shut" phase of having children in their 30's and 40's.  I found that insightful.  It is good to have perspectives and paradigm shifts.

Cheerful and Hopeful is how I end up this evening.

Shakin'

Perseverance is hard.  It seems things that are out of my control keep creeping up and testing my endurance.  My son wrecked his car about a month ago.  He walked away with a few scratches.  The insurance did there thing and we actually did not have too much difficulty.  We have a few times when only two cars make things difficult, but not really bad.

About a week before Christmas break Dakota started having uncontrollable head movements.  His head would shake and move from chest to the side and bob up and down.  We tried to get him into the doctor, but they were booked and said to take him to the emergency room.

We did.  We went home with a paper on how to control neck pain.  But my child who is physically fit and no physical disabilities was not right.  I called my friend who's a Dr. and mom and they said to take him to Akron Children's Hospital to see a neurologist.

We fought to get a quick appointment, but they couldn't see us for two days.  We ended up taking him to the emergency room up there. 

Diagnosis: Stress induced tremors, a bit less frequent

The neurologist said: transient tics.  Could last for days, months, or years.  They are not sure where they come from or how they start, but they don't think they are related to the accident.

I'm not a doctor, but I'm thinking a crash might induce stress, whether or not the kid is talking about it.

Today: no tremors, but when things are stressful, like blessing sacrament, or high pressure he still has the tremors but not as bad as a few weeks ago.

Weird.  I had someone ask me if Heavenly Father is trying to humble him?  Interesting question.  Does Heavenly Father work that way?  I don't know.  I think it is something that we as a family need to endure.  We need to rally and pray about.  I think this to shall pass.  But if not, we love him anyhow. 

I'll take him shakin' or not, just glad to go through the growing pains with him.  Even though some days I can't wait until he's out of the house.

Here's to cheerful endurance!

Goals for a Change

I've been pondering what to make my goal/s for the this year.  I always have a list in mind, but I am liking the idea of a state of being, an attitude adjustment, or paradigm shift as I've read else where.

So here it goes.....

My words of the year perseverance and cheerful endurance. 

I'm borrowing the term spiritual fitness, I want to focus on the why I am a member this year instead of how to be a member of church.  I want to be excited again.  I want to attend the temple more frequently and go even if I drive the hour drive alone.  I want to be more intentional on my spirituality instead of only giving it what is left over at the end of the day, which usually isn't much.

I realize that I endure.  I might even endure well, but this life is meant to have joy.  I have a lot to complain about.  Dakota's accident reminded me of all the things I have to be thankful for.  Even happy about.  I want to get a piece of my youthful optimism back.  I want my glass to go from half empty to half full.

 I love the quote in the picture.  I work hard.  I work hard everyday of the week on my job.  Daily, I get the emotional baggage of many children.  I have to cut through a lot of junk to be able to teach them how to read, why they should read, and not my favorite but parts of speech.  Have you ever tried to teach predicate nouns to a child whose family did not have water?  There is a lot to get through with this group of children.  It is easy to be angry and frustrated with them.  But, they need me to be a strong, stable adult who they can count on to be consistent.  They need me to teach them that fair is not always equal.  Fair is doing what is correct for the individual who might need to get to point B by a different route.  Sometimes I have to redo, redo, and did a mention redo my lessons to find another way to get to them.  Something that has worked the last four times I taught will not usually work this year.

I need to preservere through the growing pains of going from teen to young adult.  I will have a senior this year.  We will go through the emotional tugs and pulls at the heart while touring what college to attend for the one semester he can get in before a mission.  Watching to see if he will finally chose to go on a mission.  It is hard to watch your child make tough life choices.  Helping them develop a trust in the Lord, and realizing that most of their testimony is built on mine or my husbands.  Hoping and praying they will get their own...and remember what they already know.

Persevere cheerfully through trials.  Knowing they wouldn't be trials if it was already my strength.  Relishing in the wisdom gained at the end of the trial.  (I have learned more about myself since being released from Relief Society President, than when I was called, because I can see the forest for the trees now.)

To take on my medical condition of PCOS which induces diabetes in me.  Cysts that make it almost impossible to lose weight and is very discouraging emotionally.  I most of the time ignore it, but symptoms pop up now and then that remind me that ignoring is not the best solution.  I will have to preservere the weight loss troubles and do everything I can, including taking medicine that messes with my blood sugar levels and work with medical personnel to get everything normal, or as normal as it will be with a diagnosis like this. 

I like the idea of persevering to make enduring more cheerful.  I want to enjoy the last few moments I have with all my children under the roof.  I realize I'll always be their mother, but it will be different. 

So, here's to a more successful goal year!

Ringin' in the New Year

 We decided to ring in the New Year on vacation.  We did our yearly trip to Cabela's and Bass Pro Shops. 

 We left Saturday morning after Kota got home from work and made the 2 hour trip to Rossford which is outside of Toledo.

 I would love to have a fireplace like this in my house.  It it ginormous!

 We spent time looking at the aquarium and trout ponds they have going through the store.

 How would you like this pair chasing you through the woods?

 You can't go to Cabela's without stopping at the Beef Jerky Outlet.

We took a break from shopping and enjoyed the furniture we'd love to have.

That's enough yaking about the fun New Year we had, we are off to go back to Ohio and back to real life.

I Say Go, You Say Fight

 We went to Smithville tonight to watch the Falcons battle the Smithies.  Kayla worked the crowd along with her squad.  They worked hard in practice on Thursday and the girls looked great tonight.

 Perky, smiling, young ladies to cheer on the crowd to cheer on the boys.  Unfortunately it wasn't enough for the JV who lost their whole game lead in the last 30 seconds.  It's always amazing to me how quick a team can gain 20 points.

The Varsity on the other hand, never lost their half-time lead.  They played tough the entire game.  This was one of the more mild games we went to see this season.  It seems like the student sections usually get to bantering back and forth so much, it feels hostile.  Not tonight, just a layed back game of basketball.

One thing that doesn't make sense to me is all the fouls in the last minute of the game.  It seems to me if you are losing a game the last thing you want to do is give the other team a chance at 2 more points.  I realize they could miss, but most of the time they don't.  Our last 6 points of this game was made because of free throws due to fouls.  Craziness! 

Did I Accomplish It?

I was reviewing my goal list I made at the begining of the year.  I will have to carry some over to next.  I'm not sure of who started the tradition of goal setting or "resolutions" for the year, but I will still make them.  I feel my life with out things to work towards is pointless, even if I ignore the things that are hard for me to do, eventually I grab hold of the challenge, right?

1. Pray more often personally, not just at meals (better, but not where I'd like it to be)
2. Learn how to do something new (I learned how to make truffles this year)
3. See a moose in the wild (maybe when we go to Maine?) (Not yet, didn't make it to Maine)
4. Go to Maine on Vacation (hopefully with our friends Casey and Christina) (wasn't in the budget and we won't make it in 2012 either)
5. Survive my school year, hopefully cheerfully (I've got a tought group this year) I survived, and that tough group of 5th graders that I had for just one class, I now have all day.  I'm still surviving and even learning to like them.
6. Maybe look for an Administration position (not sure if I'm ready yet)
I looked, even thought I might have one, but it didn't pan out.  I'm not sure if I'm going to look this year.  I might want to wait until Kayla graduates.
7. Learn to play the piano better Move to 2012 list
8. Scrapbook with my daughter a little, need to do this more, I have a senior next fall.
9. Read a book on my list (or two, three or four....) Ah, finally some success!  I read dozens
10. lose 20 pounds (or more, but you have to start somewhere)  I lost some, and gain some, time to lose some more (this is my never ending battle.)
11. Excersise with my husband before work 3 days a week we both quit this...after a few weeks
12. Take more walks  we did this, I need to make it a regular habit, it is so relaxing
13. Enjoy quiet moments with the teens we did this too, often
14. Get to MN for Christmas nope, but we are going in June, to check out colleges for Kota
15. Get to know my dad again still need to work on this

Although I did not accomplish everything on the list I learned a lot from the trials of the year.

I learned to perservere through a difficult school year and learned that sometimes I need to look past my own pain and try to understand anothers' pain to be able to be the better person.  I learned that taking the road less traveled on always brings greater joy and a sense of accomplishment.  I've learned to be a little more tolerant of people because I don't know why they are behaving in a way that is less desirable.  (I'm not always good at this, but I'm getting better.)  I've learned that despite the character flaws in my children I love them anyhow.  I am more grateful for their presence since the accident.  That has made our home a happier place to be.

I am happy and content in life.  I have things I want to get better at and my 2012 list will be long for those accomplishments I will want to strive for.  However, I will enjoy the days and be grateful for what I have, which is much!